


Rotted Cake, & Sour Pie

by VoltageStone



Series: Jori Collections 2018-2021 [15]
Category: Victorious
Genre: Angst, F/F, Jori - Freeform, One-Shot, Sexual Content, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoltageStone/pseuds/VoltageStone
Summary: [Rotted Cake] "Have…you been blind? Was that why at the end of almost every fight Jade and Beck had [. . .], their eyes always travelled to you? Not Andre. Not Robbie. Not even Cat. Just you. Were you the reason…?"[Sour Pie] To be announced.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West, Tori Vega/Jade West
Series: Jori Collections 2018-2021 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/945861
Comments: 7
Kudos: 73





	Rotted Cake, & Sour Pie

Music of an awkward kind filled the room with Andre at the piano, brows furrowed in concentration, and Cat beside you humming the beginnings of a tune. For a freshly written piece, you found that it wasn't bad. Rough, but not bad. The rec-room, as always, was bathed in sunlight with the blinds drawn. Andre worked the piano, drumming against the keys with such precision and talent that you could only dream of. At the sound of a dramatic pause, Cat started her verse as you continued to hum.

_"When I saw you yesterday,_  
_"Just another day,_  
_"Waiting, silently,_  
_"For you to come to me..._  
_"Please..."_

Life was brought into the room as your rhythmic voice matched with Cat's heavenly one, guided by Andre's mastery of the piano. Together, the two of you sang:

_"I can't imagine,_  
_"I can't fathom,_  
_"Life without light,_  
_"Life all alone..._  
_"So come to me..."_

You dropped to another thrum, accompanying the work from the piano as Cat sang.

_"Guide my hips as they sway,_  
_"Even if it's just for tod—"_

Cat shrieked and clutched your arm as Andre slammed his hands on the piano. He sent a sharp glare to the door. Hurried footsteps raced down the hall, growing louder and more panicked by the second. The door was wrenched open, revealing a terrified Robbie with a tight grasp on a bag of donuts. He shut the door behind him, face paler than usual, and set the snacks down on a chair. "Sorry, were you working on the song?" he gasped, clearly out of breath.

"No, just practicing. We wouldn't be able to do anything without your guitar anyway," Andre said. "What's up with you?"

"Uh...I should have gone with Cat."

Cat arched a brow and said, "Last time I was in your car, you made me sit underneath twelve bags of food!"

As Robbie shrugged sheepishly, you rolled your eyes. "What do you mean? Did Jade and Beck not help at all?"

"Well...not exactly. They did until they _didn't_ ," he explained. Cat and Andre exchanged confused glances before turning to him. "They started to—" Robbie halted in the middle of his sentence. Raised voices bled through the door and into the room. The words weren't kind. They itched and scratched you, gnawing until your ears grew raw. Their tones were violent: a raging, monstrous fire against a lethal, cold pair of fangs.

 _Oh._ You didn't blame Robbie for dashing away and into the safety of the rec-room. Away from the blistering relational war and into a kind, friendly bubble. _They did…until they didn't._ _That makes perfect sense._

"You made him run away with your screaming! _And_ the freshman! _And_ Sinjin!"

"Oh, like _I_ was the one screaming when we got into the school!" you heard Jade snap back. Everybody in the rec-room grimaced as the door swung open once again, the handle bashing against the wall. Watching the door tremble, you almost doubted that Beck was main culprit. Almost. Beck rarely ever got angry, though that had become less and less true during the past few months.

_Maybe year..._

Beck rolled his eyes and shook his head. "What?! _What?!_ " Jade snarled. "I'm not the one fucking letting girls ogle at me every-fucking-time I go out with who I'm dating!"

"I can't control that!" he hissed, arms raised. "How the hell am I supposed to stop that?!"

You, Robbie, Cat and Andre retreated to the side of the room and sat by the donuts. None of you took one; your appetite had been abruptly diminished.

"You can start by not sitting there _talking to them!_ " she barked. "I swear to God, you can't control yourself around other girls, can you?!"

"Jade, fuck off with that!" Beck growled. "I'm not with anybody else, just you, okay?! But with your constant bitching, at this point, you're _lucky_ to have me!"

"Lucky? _Lucky?!_ You think I'm supposed to feel like the luckiest girl in the world with your _dick_ _?!_ Fuck off with _that!_ "

Beck's eyes went wild as his fists balled. "Oh, we're going to start there, huh?" he said, lowly. As he pointed to Jade, you noticed how her body trembled, her jaw clenched and eyes piercing. Her breathing was slow but force, and you knew very well how hard it was for Jade to maintain it. You didn't know _how_ you did, exactly, but you did; perhaps you sensed the shift in the dynamics of their apparent loveless relationship. A feral cat backed into a corner. "Yes, you should," Beck snarled, "because I'm the only fucking one who ever comforts you whenever you need company. Just because I have to be polite to other fucking girls doesn't mean I'm abandoning you."

 _There._ You saw it just then. The distortion in Jade's eyes shattering into smaller and smaller fragments. The sudden lurch of her chest. You could practically hear the gears working from inside Jade's head, twisting and churning. Tension coiled tighter within her body and—just like the rest of their fights—you expected her to implode on herself, and snap and break somebody's neck. _Oh who are you kidding_ —his _neck specifically._ But...just like the rest of their fights, it never came. The tension sealed itself away as she dropped her eyes to the ground, her thoughts left to mangle and writhe.

If only you could get inside her head. Work your way through the mass of jumbled cords. Or maybe you could snatch Beck and pull him to the side, then make him do it. Make him clean his mess. Make him help mend their relationship.

But no. The livid venom in his eyes spoke otherwise. That day wouldn't come soon.

However, the bell screamed throughout the intercoms, and the battle ceased—for now. Both Beck and Jade remained silent and still. Slowly, Andre started to collect the music sheets from the piano, swallowing nervously. By the time he, Cat, Robbie and you were at the door, Jade started and strode out the room. You watched her as she brushed by you four, and her anger sent chills down your spine. One-by-one you left Beck behind, only casting a quick glance each.

He looked at you, lips pursed. You didn't know if he was humiliated, or if he was embarrassed of Jade.

 _Oh don't lie to yourself. He didn't start the argument, now did_ _he?_ You shook your head, feeling bitter yourself, and tired. It was not even first period, and they'd already drained you. _He would never start an argument. Jade always does. Jade always throws her tantrums, without any warning, and attacks anybody in her way. Beck's always the victim. Beck's always the one who has to deal with_ her _._

 _Right,_ you thought to yourself, _and he never opens a door like a battering ram._

**. . .**

You strained your attention to your paper. Three paragraphs of a five-paragraph summary. On 1700s philosophers. On old dead white people that are still, for some reason, quoted. You swore your brain felt dead, but, at the very least, it was the last period of the day.

At your table, Robbie and Andre spoke quietly, only the introduction sentence on their papers. _"We don't want to work on this now._ _We'll just do it at home,"_ they said. _"We can't focus properly at school,"_ they said.

 _"Jade and Beck were arguing again, in the parking lot. We'll do it where they aren't: home,"_ they meant. _"We can't focus because of them,"_ they meant. And it wasn't like you could argue. You desperately wanted to do the same. You just had responsibilities that they didn't: your sister. Andre could surely sympathize, with his grandmother, though that should have given him all the more reason to do his work. Though, yet again, you couldn't argue.

And so you leaned back in your chair, scrambling to find any semblance of the last two paragraphs of your paper. _I wonder if Jade finished her assignment._ You frowned. Of course she didn't. You doubted that she even wrote the first sentence—whether or not her period did the assignment as a class, whereas yours was set to work individually for "poor attendance".

"I don't know. Honestly, I think they need a break." You jerked from your thoughts to their conversation for the first time in minutes. Andre shrugged as Robbie continued, "Like... _honestly_. I don't care how good of a couple you are, if you're arguing this much, you aren't going to stay together much longer."

"You think they'll split?"

"Uh, _yeah_."

Andre sighed. "I just feel bad—for them both. People have been talking shit about Jade, though maybe she deserves it after going after Beck for so long about the girls."

"But at the same time, she doesn't?" Robbie filled in the blanks.

"Yeah." Andre glanced towards the teacher's desk, grabbing his pencil so he could "work". Once he saw that Mr. Andrews was diligently reading emails and grading papers, he put down the pencil. "Beck just needs a break. No dude should have to deal with that, you know. It's not like he could control what other people are doing." Robbie nodded in agreement.

"I don't know..." You didn't mean to contribute to the conversation, but both of their heads swiveled to you with earnest. You were still slumped in your chair when you said, "I mean...you guys don't understand how it's like dating somebody who everybody likes. Beck gets along with everybody, _especially_ girls. That's going to get on your nerves."

They couldn't disagree. Though, Andre pointed out: "True. And I'm not saying that Jade doesn't have the right to feel that way, but you know she's can be a bitch, _all the time_. Like— She could be less controlling and possessive."

You nodded, not only to agree with him (because, admittedly, there's truth to that), but to remove yourself from the conversation. You didn't want to even begin. Have you been the only one to notice her detached stares during class? Have you been the only one catching the burn in her eyes? Have you been the only one watching her back away from Beck, mouth shut and body trembling in fear? You knew he would never land a hand on her. Not a finger, even. But that didn't mean he never punctured her emotions, even by accident.

And when a relationship sinks into the depths of an end, it's hard _not_ to have emotions impaled by the shards of a broken foundation. That you knew.

**. . .**

You fumbled with your binder at the lockers. This annoyed you, especially because it was such a common occurrence. Irritated, you shoved it back and closed the door. You didn't need it anyway. The binder just had _all_ of your notebook paper supply. College ruled, not wide-ruled—cause fuck _that_ shit.

The Main Hall was not completely emptied. A few bunches of students still meandered by their own lockers. As you turned around, you froze. Jade. Alone. She'd been at her locker when you reached yours, and you thought she would've left during the five minutes of wrestling with your binder. Your activities prior seeped away as more pronounced problems rose amongst your thoughts. Slowly, you strolled across the hall, tilting your head to the side curiously.

Jade watched your last few steps carefully. Your voice was soft: "Hey."

"Hi," she grunted, suppressing the coiled tension caught within her. Buried deep in her chest. You heard it in her voice. You saw it as she swallowed her dry throat.

Within her hand was the coffee she bought at lunch. It had been a trend for the last couple of months for Beck to skip-out on buying her a drink. From what you saw, it was cold and filled to the top—as if Jade didn't take a single sip. "Your coffee..." you murmured. "Aren't you going to have it?" As Jade gave a long, tired look at her lidded cup, you recalled that you _did_ —in fact—notice her sipping from the cup numerous times. _Had she not drank any?_

"You can have it," she said gingerly. "I'm not...thirsty."

"J-Jade," you stuttered. She handed the cold coffee to you. Your eyes switched to hers, and immediately you're taken aback. Even though she kept her gaze locked on the ground, avoiding your stare entirely, you saw the cracks of her toughened mask. She was tired and worn. It wasn't from a couple nights of no sleep. It was _months_ in the making—that, you knew. And you couldn't help but think it had nothing to do with sleep. Those deep, pale eyes—from what you could see from her avoidant stare—were glossed over, unfocused. "Jade," you breathed.

"I'm not thirsty," she muttered coolly. "Honest."

You touched her arm and left it there. Jade jolted and snapped her attention up from the ground. "No, Jade," you whispered, "are you...alright? You're not acting like—like _you_." She opened her mouth to speak, though no words were formed. Jade stumbled over her breath, uncertain. You had knocked everything out of her in surprise. Still, you searched for any semblance of something other than _lost_. Lost and caged.

The bell screamed. Both of you jumped and glared at the speakers. Jade grumbled under her breath, and you caught a nasty profanity in the midst of her words before she slammed her locker shut. You watched her storm off, shoving herself through the doors.

Even with the force she managed, you know it took all the energy from Jade to get to her car. Your phone buzzed. Trina was waiting.

As you went outside, you saw Jade's car roll away. There wasn't anything you could do then besides run after it. But no, that would be pushing boundaries. And your luck.

**. . .**

Luck, that, wasn't so good as it turned out. It even stretched into the next day.

They were at it again. You don't _really_ know what started it. Beck was served a good ten minutes of Jade's cold shoulder, then Sikowitz—teaching improv and all—had them hop up the stage to do a skit. With you in the middle. And all eyes of the class watching. And…shit. Somehow, your one line (directed by the script, of course) turned the tone from "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Hopps, what's for dinner today?" into a mess of…stammered words cut across the couple's hisses and snarls. It only took a minute for you to stand there, lips meek and eyes blankly staring at the opposite wall between whatever argument ravaged the room. Even Sikowitz was baffled. It was as if he had been blindsided by just how seamlessly the pair interwoven their own relational issues with the characters they were playing. And they _were_ in character:

"What about it, Julie?! Carrots can touch the ground for _one_ second! You haven't washed them yet!"

" _Me?!_ I have to deal with the _seven kids_ we have that _you_ put in me!"

_Oh my god. Please. Please, I want this class to be over._

"Now are you complaining that we have a family together?! What do you want from _me?!_ "

"I want you to quit staring that the stupid neighbor across the street and drop the carrots because of it!"

You gulped as you blinked at either side. Both of them seemed to almost vibrate with spitting anger. At once, when Beck's hand grappled your shoulder, you yelped and jolted in place. He didn't notice. Instead, Beck—or Mr. Hopps, you supposed—snapped, "Oh, and _you_ don't like Miss Shelly here?! You're such a _hypocrite._ "

Jade was quiet for only a split second, but that break was enough to alarm you. You stared at her wildly as she snarled, "She is my neighbor. Nothing. Else." Your chest throbbed. Something tossed and writhed behind her eyes. A breaking point. Her words are iced over, something that you hadn't heard for a long…long time. " _I_ don't let other girls ogle me or get their feathers in my face. I'm _faithful._ "

"Well I don't believe it," Beck murmured quietly, every word impaling you to stab at Jade. "You're the one who invited _her_ over here."

"I didn't know you were going to be here tonight. I can trust Miss Shelly to stay, but not my own husband. Isn't that the issue here?"

The bell shrilled, and nobody moved aside from Sikowitz who clapped his hands together. "Well then. I'd say…that, err, the bell has dismissed us. You can all go." He watched the class. "…now. You can go now." At first, everybody was slow to their feet, though as soon as one student touched the handle, everybody fled at once. Including you, slipping away haphazardly with your bag barely in your hands. You stumbled into the hallway, and from behind you heard their building argument—an argument, which, was not with kind words. You ducked out of the way with Cat in tow (you didn't realize you'd snatched her away to begin with), leaving Andre and Robbie to scramble after you. You barely caught Beck snatching Jade away for somewhere more private. Which could only mean bad things. If either of them actively stowed their fights away, it only left either of them dumping the other. Or Cat on the ground in a fit of panic. Or Robbie in tears. Or you and Andre desperately wanting to meld into a wall.

After a few minutes in the hallway, all four of you strained to catch their voices. You didn't. You knew their words were still low and crisp and sharp. Precise. Articulate. _Devastating._

"What was that all about, Tori?"

"W-What?!" You whipped around to Andre. "I don't know! We were supposed to be doing a skit."

"Well I—" He sighed and nodded in a rush. "I know that, but…"

Robbie intervened with hesitance: "It sounded like they were arguing about you."

You blinked. "M- _Me?!_ I haven't done anything!"

"Well yeah," Andre mumbled. "But…you do have a little history with Beck, don't you? Like, sometimes—"

"No!" you snapped hotly. "He's just a fri— Are you trying to insinuate that they've been fighting about _me_ this whole fucking time?!"

"Not all of the time, of course! But you've definitely came up in multiple of their fights!"

You scowled. "So _what?!_ I rub coffee on a guy's shirt, kiss him for a skit, and she gets pissed—I get that. But I turned him down—"

"What?!" Robbie blinked, boggled. "Turned him down when?! He asked you out?!"

"N-No! He—" Shit. You forgot you never told anybody else about that night. "He tried to kiss me and I pushed him off!"

"Why?!"

Your eyes bulged. " _Why?!_ What the hell is wrong with you?! I don't fucking want to date Beck, that's why!" At the end of your proclamation was when you realized the small crowd that had been watching your exchange. Some whispered. Others just gawked. All eyes on _you._ And while you couldn't hear them, you read some of their lips: something like _liar_ is what they said to each other. You blinked and nearly backed into the vending machine. Have…you been blind? Was that why at the end of almost every fight Jade and Beck had—when you actually witnessed its end, anyway—their eyes always travelled to _you?_ Not Andre. Not Robbie. Not even Cat. Just you. Were you the reason?

And before you could even say a _word,_ you heard your name hissed from your right: "Tori. Come on."

You turned towards the janitor's closet. Beck stood at the door, hand out. You couldn't read him. He was unbelievably pissed, but…was some of it directed to you? You couldn't be bothered. With how the whispering doubled, you snapped, "What?!"

"Just—" He snatched your wrist. He actually snatched your wrist and pulled you into the closet. You barely heard Cat's concerned warning and Robbie's gasped surprise before you stumbled into the closet. Right into Jade.

Immediately you stripped yourself away to glare over your shoulder. "Why'd you drag me in here?! I don't have any input."

"Oh you will," Beck sighed, exasperated. He narrowed his eyes to Jade, who remained reserved against the wall, scowling and arms crossed. "You fucking said you wanted a second opinion!"

Jade's eyes avoided yours. A jolt tugged your gut as she snapped, "Not— Not _her!_ Someone else, you _asshole._ You got her in here on purpose!"

"Oh, like I'm going to bring in Cat or Robbie?! You always make him cry, and the last time Cat was the second opinion, _you_ made her faint!"

"Quit pinning that on _fucking ME!_ " Jade exploded. "I'M SICK OF IT! JUST LIKE I'M SICK OF _YOU!_ "

Beck's expression warped into fury. He turned to you. "Do you _see_ this?!" he snarled, a hand thrusted to Jade. Beck turned back to her and snapped, "Quit fucking playing the victim! I'm always on your side until _you_ decide I'm not! You—"

"Stop the fucking _bullshit!_ "

"—always dictate whenever I can talk to a girl! I'm _your_ boyfriend, Jade! I can't _not_ talk to people for notes or whatever because of that!"

"No. _No!_ " She clenched her jaw before her pale eyes flicked to you. "Tori, does he _not_ let them feel his hair or shirt all the _fucking. Time?!_ "

"I-I mean…" You blinked, stunned, as Beck watched you carefully. You swallowed, furrowed your brows, and kept your eyes locked on his. Beck waited for you to answer, and you knew from the bottom of your heart that expected to find something. And it sent you reeling. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Beck?! That you _aren't_ the most popular guy in the school?!"

"For the love of God, I fucking knew it…" he hissed under his breath. Beck shook his head wildly, then spat, "Jade?! You want to fucking tell her how much of a hypocrite you are?! Always bitching about girls on _my_ ass, but I turn around and see you—!"

Her words forced through her teeth: "You piece of shit…"

"What?! _Oh_ what?! Jade the victim _again?!_ You want to tell her how many times you berate me—"

"Stop it!"

"—yet every. Fucking. Time we try to—!"

" _Beck,_ I'm fucking warning you, _stop!_ "

"IT'S ALWAYS BEEN TORI, HASN'T IT?! YOU BITCH AND SCREAM AT ME TO KEEP AWAY FROM HER SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE CHANCE TO DRAG YOUR FUCKING HANDS ALL OVER HER!"

_What?!_

"YOU FUCKING PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T SAY JACK SHIT, YOU IDIOT!"

Your attention was whirled towards both directions at once. Your heart grew claustrophobic as it thumped against your ever-so-heavy ribcage.

"I'M THE IDIOT?! I'M THE IDIOT FOR LETTING THIS SLIDE FOR SO FUCKING LONG!?" You never saw the absolute rage in his eyes before, and so when they turned to you, you nearly leapt away from Beck. You knew it had been a bitter, brewing anger that had festered over the course of several months. And when they reached you, the venom within them writhed. "Do you fucking understand now, Tori?!" he snapped, and you heard the slightest crack in his voice—the weak, smallest piece heartbreak that you could find. "She's your fucking little _whore_ that you couldn't even notice to let her fuck around behind _my_ back!"

The silence in the room was terrifying.

Jade choked on the start of a cry and swallowed it, her jaw terse and knuckles white as she held herself. "You…" She glared at Beck, whose confidence barely faltered. "How dare you?" she whimpered. In one motion, Jade slammed Beck out of the way and bulldozed through the door. The hall outside was abruptly overtaken by the same terrifying silence, and you heard the double doors barrel open in the same manner. Neither of you moved when the closet's door clicked shut, nor the double doors. It was only when you swallowed did you jerk to the door, leaving Beck behind to his thoughts.

You numbly strode across to your locker and jiggled it open. By the time Andre, Robbie and Cat reached your side, ever so hesitant, you'd slipped all of your supplies into the locker. You paused and stared into the mirror, then tore your eyes away once you couldn't bear your own reflection.

"What…happened in there?"

For a moment, you looked over your shoulder and watched Andre. Without a word, you shook your head and tugged the next period's binder out, then slammed the locker shut. You leaned against it with a tired sigh. The bell rang, and you grumbled, "We have class."

**. . .**

You could only watch the fan of your bedroom ceiling. You weren't hungry, though you knew your mom would force food down your throat anyway. Or send Trina upstairs.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Tori, it's been fifteen minutes already."

So the latter. You groaned and remained still. Trina opened your bedroom door with a wide swing, and the light of the hallway blared a rectangle of yellow into the otherwise dim shadows. Even your blinds were closed. "…did you even move when we got home?"

"No." You heard her hand slap the wall, and barely a second later, the ceiling fan's bulb almost blinded you. "Fu— _Trina!_ God!" You wrenched upright, and you pressed your palms into your eyes as your sister strolled to the foot of your bed. "Ow, that _hurts!_ "

"Well it's not _my_ fault you were just laying in the dark for five hours! What the hell's wrong with you?"

Through a grumble, you answered, "None of your business." Her concern was what stumped you. With a blink, you asked, quietly, "What?"

"I heard about the fight this morning... That Beck and Jade dragged you into it?"

"Yeah." You flopped back down on the bed and turned yourself over. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well it _clearly_ upset you. I had to do all of your chores."

"Those are two completely different things."

"No. You usually do all of my chores." Right. Because you were roped into being Trina's pack-mule from whatever contract you signed at birth. You exhaled sharply once Trina sat at the edge of your bed. "But seriously. What's going on? I don't usually care about your little friend group's issues, but it's really been getting to you lately."

You arched a brow. "And you've actually noticed?"

"Well of course I have! I'm your _sister._ " Your eyes narrowed over your shoulder. Trina shrugged. "I noticed. And then I carried on with my day."

"Oh my god. Go away, Trina."

"I'm just saying!" She folded her arms, her eyes not leaving you. Quietly, Trina gave another attempt: "Tori, come on. I'm actually trying here. What happened?"

"They just—" You waved your hands before they sagged into your lap. "They just said things, and fought, and just screamed and…" You chewed the inside of your cheek and swallowed. "The same thing."

"Then why am I hearing a bunch of new rumors about you and Beck in the closet alone after Jade left?!"

"That's not—!" Fuck. _Fuck._ _You're fucking kidding me._ You held your head tightly with deep, rattled breaths. "It wasn't like that. He fucking said— He— He… Jade ran out and we just stood there until I left. That's— That's it. I don't fucking like Beck. I don't—" you ripped your head from your hands and turned wildly to Trina— " _really don't,_ want Beck at all."

Her hands were raised defensively, and you leaned back with folded arms. Trina lowered them and said, "I know, that's why I'm talking to you about it. What. Happened?" You opened your mouth, then closed it, tried again, and snapped it shut. Trina's brow rose as she leaned forward, watching you closely. "Don't tell me that…you're the reason why they're fighting."

You lurched to your feet and snapped, "I never _did_ anything!" You strangled the air. "I was just trying to be their friend, because… Because…" You blinked, then blitzed around and stared at Trina. "Hold on. How do _you_ know that I'm not interested in Beck?" Trina's gaze was almost pitiful—and the thought of your sister pitying _you_ of all people was a hard pill to swallow. Since Trina's Trina, and… "Don't look at me like that."

"Tori... Do you not see how you look at her?"

"I-I _know_ that! I—"

"Tori—"

"I know I'm fucking gay, Trina, that's not the problem!" you spat. "I know I'm fucking gay, and that I want Jade, so much that several times we've almost—" Your words screamed to a halt, and you swallowed yet another pill—one that's far harder to swallow. You worked your jaw through the silence that you managed to catapult Trina into. "I know. But I didn't do anything wrong. I just…tried to be a good friend, and now…" Your voice cracked, and finally your eyes burned. It was the only thing you wanted while all afternoon. And not with an audience. "And now…I don't know what to do."

Trina stood beside you and mumbled, "Well…I know you're a good friend, most of the time. You'll know what to do." Your gaze was unsure. She shrugged. "Come on. Just have dinner for now. You can think about all of this later. You need some rest from it."

Slowly (because she _is_ right, and you're fucking tired), you nodded. "Okay. Fine…I'll eat."

**. . .**

Getting to school late was, oddly enough, a rare thing for you and Trina. You had to hand it to your sister: for all the shit she pulled, and her stunt-like dramatics, Trina would rather be caught dead than late to anything (unless, of course, it was a sacrifice for a better task at hand—like finishing a personal fashion-show). A few minutes would sting, but it was bearable. Ten minutes and more? Burning.

Half-an-hour after you and your sister had to clean up the mess in the kitchen to avoid your mother's wrath? Unbelievable irritation and heels slamming against the gas pedal.

Trina barely managed to lock the car once the both of you were at a full run for your classes. You didn't even try with your locker. It was straight to Sikowitz. And within a minute, the door was barged open, and you collapsed into the seat between Cat and Andre, panting.

Sikowitz beamed from the front, pointing at his diagram on a rolled-chalk board that surely encouraged a long-winded debate about...something. You glanced at your friends beside you. They were baffled, and confused, and perhaps a little entertained. _That's all I missed…? Not too bad._

He tapped his long pointer against the board. "Hello, Tori Vega!" he drawled out excitedly. "We're reviewing the fundamentals of expressionism of an actor that does _not_ take place on the face!"

You weakly raised an arm. "Yay..."

" _That's_ the spirit!" He turned to the chalk-board, and there was a quiet, collective groan. (Okay, maybe not entertained in the slightest. Just hopeful that the clock would tick faster.) Sikowitz remained oblivious. Or, in your mind, he remained ignorant. He knew what he was doing.

Before you could zone out, however, there was a prod on your shoulder. You turned to Andre. "Did you hear?" he whispered.

"What...?"

He swallowed, then answered, "They did it." It took a moment. Andre's gaze was solemn, pitiful and...is that relief you saw? A bout of joy? You turned to Cat, who shared the same expression with a hint of a worried edge. Robbie was beside Cat, and his brief glance was identical in tone. And Beck? Your head almost spun to find him. He sat across the room, in the corner. Without Jade.

_Jade..._

It clicked.

 _Where is she?_ "They...broke up?" you murmured. _Is she not here? Did she skip?_

Andre nodded. "Yeah. Beck, uh, we talked for a few minutes last night," he said quietly. "They broke it off over text... And, it's not a break this time."

"A break wasn't going to fix anything," slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it.

Your conversation paused once Sikowitz whipped around to face the whole class. As he turned towards Beck's half of the classroom, Andre whispered, "Yeah. I think so. Beck said neither of them wanted it in the first place, and they haven't talked at all."

Cat shifted beside you. Her hint of worry grew substantially. "What's... What's going to happen to our group?"

Andre shrugged. "I don't know." You felt his eyes on you, but you shrugged them away. You didn't give a damn about what was said in the janitor's closet. You didn't do anything. _You_ didn't…try to break them apart.

"We..." Robbie muttered, fighting against his words. "We support them? Like friends?"

That's what he said anyway, and you all gave a murmur of agreement. But that's not what Robbie meant, and you knew it. _"We have to split. We have to choose."_ You glanced at Beck, and you really wish you hadn't. Not because he locked eyes with you, no—in fact, Beck's attention was kept towards the board. No, instead, it was because Robbie, Cat and Andre looked at you with expectation. In passing periods, there had been those rumors. Rumors you knew they've heard. Rumors you knew they've got wrong. Everybody. Those rumors played in their minds. Even after the fucking outburst of yours the day prior, they still circulated: _"'They like each other. Once he dumps Jade, he's going for Tori.' ... 'You think so?' ... 'I know.'"_ Those rumors in brief conversations. The ones you ignored.

Quietly, you asked, "So...where's Jade?"

Cat was the one to answer: "At home. She hasn't been answering me."

You grew silent. Everything else didn't register. There was a gnawing in your stomach; Cat's worry infected you, it seemed. You became lost in thought, figuring out a way to get Trina to lend you the car keys. Calculating your words.

The bell shrilled, and Andre patted your shoulder. "Come on," he said, jerking his chin towards the door. You followed, halting behind him as he waited for Beck. Your jaw tightened, then you shrugged past them. Cat was the only one to stumble behind you, leaving the boys thoroughly confused.

As she followed you to your locker, she asked, hurriedly, "W-What about Beck? Aren't you going to talk to him?"

"I have nothing to say to him, Cat," you murmured.

"What do you mean?"

Your eyes darted around, and you couldn't help but hear people chatter about Jade—or they didn't care, and were absorbed with their workload. Everything was muddled at the moment, and _you_ really couldn't care less. You turned back to Cat and hissed, "Closet. _Now_."

"What?"

" _Closet!_ "

The locker wasn't even touched when you steered towards the janitor's closet, sharp around the vending machine, Cat at your heel. The door was shoved closed. Inside, once your arms crossed, she asked, "Please don't yell."

"I'm not going to." Cat watched you, unconvinced. She had every right. You felt the bitter edge of your tone. "Look, Cat," you said softly, "I just... I don't have anything to say to him."

"But...Jade broke up with him. Didn't he?"

You shook your head. "I don't think so. Not this time, anyway."

Cat wrung her wrists. "They yelled at you in here, didn't they?"

"Yeah, they did."

"And did you faint?"

"No. I didn't." You frowned. "I need to see if Jade's alright."

She blinked at you, then nodded. "I thought you liked her."

"I... What?" You swore it sounded like a confirmation rather than a question.

Cat nodded again. "I know you do," she said. "You have for a while. You... You look really sad whenever they have a fight, and she when leaves the room. …and I kind of knew you're gay?"

Now that was a question. You paused, began to nod then waved it off entirely. "That's not important right now, Cat," you replied.

"How come? You like her, don't you?"

You shook your head to dismiss, unable to answer her puppy-dog eyes. Instead, you pressed, "I'll try to come back for practice, okay? I need to find Trina before I go."

"You're ditching school, Tori?!"

"I need to see if Jade's alright!"

"I... Okay." Cat twisted and turned at the spot, grimacing at the waft of cleaning alcohol. "Can you tell her I miss her already? And I baked a cupcake for her last week... I dropped it, but I picked it up quickly. And I gave it new frosting."

You felt a small smile stretch. "Okay, Cat, I will." It was unbelievable what Cat—bubbly and heartfelt—did in a matter of a few moments. "See you."

"Okay..."

The two of you left the closet, and you were left fueled with a sort of determination. Your eyes scanned the halls for your sister. You just needed her damn keys. After all, she could be late for a few minutes.

**. . .**

Only twice before had you been to Jade's house. The first was for a project. Which ended…fine. At least, she didn't _throw_ you out, you just were passively shunted out the door. That first semester was an interesting one.

And then it turned thrice. Ten minutes prior to parking in her long driveway, you debated stomping across Beck's lawn and knocking on his door; he had left as well, minutes before you got the keys to Trina's (…now freshly-scratched) car. But then what? Despite knowing full well that he was emotionally in shambles, you also knew that he'd be left with a black eye and a socked jaw. …not that you're a violent person or anything. You wouldn't have _really_ gone that far. Even so, it was difficult to picture any other outcome with how your blood was boiling.

With that, you drove to her house without a detour.

You waited for a few moments, taking a breath of fresh air—in your car, so the air wasn't _really_ fresh. You weren't going in there to do a project this time. You didn't really know what you were doing to begin with. "That's it, just get out of the car, Tori," you murmured, stripping yourself from the seat and shutting the door behind you. Keys were then quickly pressed. _Beep._ (It is important to lock your sister's car, after all, especially since you maybe possibly probably scratched it again.) You walked up the steps to the front door and knocked. The doorbell was, from what you learned last time, broken; you swore it would've killed Jade to answer the door, knowing you were there, after jabbing the ring-less doorbell for _five minutes_. You hoped that it had been the highlight of her week by the way she mocked you about it...

A few minutes passed, another few knocks, and the door clicked.

Your heart crumpled.

Jade stood in the doorway, expressionless, in a faded black t-shirt and pajama shorts. "What?" she asked in a croak.

"I..." You swallowed and started over: "Jade, are you... Are you okay?"

Her eyes narrowed, each a poison dart set to aim. But you didn't flinch or brace yourself. You waited. Then the tension coiled in Jade's shoulders faltered, and she murmured, near-silently, "Not really, Tori. No." With that whisper alone, all composure fell. Before Jade could sink to her knees—purely exhausted—, you reached and caught her. Her arms grappled around you, head buried into the crook of your neck.

You hushed her quietly. Soothingly. "Come on," you whispered, "let's...get to your room?" She nodded, stripping herself away to shut the door behind you. After a few steps, you felt her grasp around your wrist. You glanced over your shoulder, and Jade was as muted as ever; nothing worn was vibrant, and she herself wasn't with her usual flair. No highlights. No snark. Nothing.

And at her room, you reached for the light-switch. "No. You don't need it," Jade mumbled.

She let go of you, walking into the room completely shrouded in shadows, only blinks of light spilling from the doorway and corners of the curtains. "Wha... Jade? It's so dar—"

"The bed is right here," Jade growled.

Your jaw snapped shut, and then you followed her voice. It took you a minute, but you found the bed. As you slipped off your shoes, your eyes scanned the room as they adjusted; it was still dark as all hell, but you began to find the outlines of furniture. You gave a bitter chuckle and said, "Cat, uh, wanted me to tell you that she missed you already, and that she baked you a cupcake."

As Jade hummed in thought, you turned to her. From what you could tell, her eyes was down to her lap. "Was that the one she dropped after slipping on frosting?"

"Uh... Y-Yeah, I think so."

"Right."

You chewed the inside of your cheek. "She did put more frosting on it."

"Okay."

"I could ask if she added sprinkles or anythi—"

" _Why_ are you here?!" Jade snapped. "If you're here to taunt me, you're doing a real fucking good job."

You inhaled slowly before settling yourself on her bed. "You know I'm not." Your hand found her knee, and when you felt that she wasn't going to pull away from you, you whispered, "I heard you two finally broke it off... And I'm just worried. He was fine enough to go to school, and you're still here." Jade held herself and turned her eyes away to the other corner of the bed. You swallowed, then asked, "Jade? Why did Beck say those things yesterday?"

Jade pulled away to coil into herself. Her arms wrapped around her folded legs, and through her whimper, she confessed, "B-Because it's true…" You frowned. As you slipped to her side, a comforting hand placed on her shoulder, you felt Jade tremble at the seams. "I-I never meant for it to happen," she sobbed quietly. "I didn't. When— When Beck and I got back together, it was supposed to be for good. We were supposed to be happy again, but it... It didn't _work._ " She wiped her eyes and hissed a breath. You remembered that night, watching Beck climb up the stage for her. All of the acrobatics you did just to maintain their happiness because, for all of your worth, you couldn't understand why your own thoughts were dismal.

And you were so. Fucking. Stupid.

Jade turned to you, and even in that dark room, you saw the same truth that littered that night—all those months ago, not even a _year_ _—_ woven within her gaze. The truth, that you ignored and swallowed once they joined hands again. So. Fucking. Stupid.

"We tried to be a good couple, but…every time we— We were doing stuff alone, I couldn't be bothered to think about him, Tori," Jade croaked. "I didn't care. And he knew… He— H-He fucking found out and knew."

All of those times you spent with Jade during their break, just to see her smile. "Jade…" All of those times you spent with Jade _after,_ just to give her a break from the growing fights. You were the fucking reason, weren't you? "Jade… Jade, it's not your fault," you murmured quietly; her words became caught, and you knew you startled her—even for a moment. "You can't control your, your feelings." You were just worried, that, since the moment you stepped into Hollywood Arts, you were the reason. All this time. "Okay?" You held her by her shoulders and almost shook, just to rattle your and her own, unspoken guilt out of her. " _Okay?!_ "

"I-I… O-Okay. I just... I never wanted this to happen to him."

You swallowed the rock in your throat and hissed, "Then it was inevitable, Jade. I'm sorry."

She stared at you in that dark room, too many emotions swarming in her gaze for you to read her. But the cogs and gears were turning. You had certainly rattled something out of her, and it plagued you. And you knew what it was: a chance. A moment. Let your festering desires uncork themselves and crackle to life. You swallowed again, nervously. Your back prickled, and your chest hammered. There was a wall of hesitation that both of you wanted to cross and fall over the edge. And…well… The two of you chose to fall over the edge. You didn't know—and still don't know—who leaned in first, lips sewn together. Nevertheless, your nerves twisted and bubbled in your gut. You cupped her cheek as she gripped your back, holding you closer. She's not the first person you'd kissed, never mind the first girl, but you'd never felt intensity to that extreme before. Your bodies clung to each other with a passion as your mind raced. Jade was soft against you, soft and needing and _raw_.

That was what made all the difference. She was raw and in ruins. _Wait..._ You felt her heart slam against the walls of her ribs with vigorous force, and you doubted either of you knew whether or not it was because Jade was in a constant state of panic, or because she was kissing you as your body led her back to the soft pillows below.

_Wait, hold on to yourself, Tori..._

When you were above her, lips locking feverishly and hands planted to her side, your skin prickled as her grip around your back tightened. A breathy groan escaped your lips once legs hooked around you, planting your body firmly against her own. Jade _needed_ you against her. The fact that Jade _needed_ you was astounding alone. When your hands ran along her thigh, you remembered just how vulnerable she was in just the long, baggy shirt. Her skin was so smooth and soft, though. So _tempting_. With care, your hand inched itself up her hips, wandering timidly to the flat of her stomach. She shivered underneath your touch, and that's when you realized that her hands had been underneath your shirt the whole time, playing with your bra strap.

_Tori!_

Like yours against her skin, they were as hot as coals. Like you, Jade was lured to your body, entranced. You were strong— _sturdy_. And in your arms, you felt her quivering susceptibility.

A rush overcame you completely. You felt a strong desire pulse from your groin, persuading your hips to grind. She moaned against your mouth, a reward. You remained to be her sturdy pillar, arms tight around her as you continued to hump. Her nails dug into your skin, and she breathed your name into your ear. You swallowed and whispered back, your thoughts far too chaotic to truly understand what was said. Maybe it was just a jumble of vowels, or stringed moans of your own. Your only desire was to have her cum and release whatever was stirring. All of those fights. All of those words and tears and times that she looked to _you_ for help. All of those times when you couldn't, leaving her to run off and Beck spare you a glance. A glance, that…in hindsight knew what you wanted. It wasn't for reassurance, like you had hoped. No. It was a warning. To step away. Back off.

And he was right, if this was what Beck was afraid of: having you take Jade away from him behind his back while he was busy with the attention of the other girls. Warding them off, remaining indifferent or basking in that attention—you didn't know but knew it didn't matter. You were still able to have Jade in your arms, in the end. She fumbled with the rim of your shirt before it was torn away. The moment you heard it land, all you knew was that Jade had waited for you. Silently, to herself, but waited all the same.

_Tori. What are you doing?_

You continued feel along her thighs as she panted into your neck, moving with your pace in desperation. A hand flew between her legs after a particularly impassioned thrust, and you nearly gasped. Your gut twisted and flipped itself over. She was wet enough to feel through her layers. Without much thought—or, at least, any coherent one—, you slipped your hand into her underwear and immediately got to work. Jade gasped through a broken sob as you rubbed. You felt her fidget against you, her hands trembling as they tensed around your waist. "Tori… Tori, please," she wept. Once you kissed her with a hum of your own, you felt her watery smile. Your fingers slipped inside, and promptly they were accepted by a thrumming, tight heat.

Cooed in her ear, you breathed, "Baby, don't cry… Don't cry." Jade swallowed and only kissed you as a response, her cheeks flushed and wet. She groaned into you, and you knew why: she was close.

"More," she hissed. "More, _please._ I want— _Fuck._ "

"Okay, okay," you murmured, fingers slick and eager. _Oh my god…_ You moaned once her leg jerked, her thigh between your legs, and you felt yourself throb against the pressure. And yet, your pleasure had nothing on Jade's. You felt the tension inside, so you added a finger, then vigor to your pumps. The lines and crackles of her voice etched themselves into you. Once teeth found their way to your shoulder, the strap of your bra slipped away, you gasped as Jade bit down, coiled with an unreeling arousal. One that you knew she was at the edge of, teetering with every pump of your fingers.

Jade tensed, and through another groan, she cried, "Fuck, Tori!" You held her as the tension spiraled, breaths heavy. Soon enough, however, she pulled you into another rough kiss. And you obliged hungrily. It wasn't enough. It just wasn't. Jade needed more.

 _This is_ _isn't right. Something's wrong._

Your body hummed against Jade, pulsing with every patch of skin against her body. Mindlessly, you kissed her with a slip of tongue, eager to indulge _all_ of her. Every scrap of her body. You wanted to, ever so desperately, hear her cry your name in your ear again.

Jade wanted you. Jade _needed_ you as her shelter—

_Stop. STOP!_

With a grunt you broke away, chest thumping. Everything slammed into you at once. The past few minutes of nothing but rabid emotions, in particular. Jade opened her eyes and stared fearfully. Her chest rose and fell with rapid beats, and you swallowed a pang of guilt. Your head throbbed as you mumbled, "I— Jade, I can't… We— We've already done more than what w-we should've. Y-You…"

"Wha—" Panic rose.

" _We_ can't," your voice cracked. Your skin was still sweltering. The thump between your legs still wanted to be fucked away. "Jade, not right now. I-I know you're hurting. So not— Not right now."

Her gaze darted with confusion. After all, you both were still riding that high, your bodies urging— _commanding_ —you to resume. But what did your body know? _Honestly,_ what the fuck did it know? "I... You're not leaving me—"

" _No_ ," you said quickly, "no... I'm staying right here. But you don't need this right now." Your hands trembled as you cupped her cheeks, and you leaned in to knit a swift, promising kiss that you really weren't going to leave. "I promise I'm not... But Jade, Jade you're not… Y-You're still not you right now."

"I— _Fuck_ you," she croaked. "I want you…w-with me right now. I need that."

You nodded and settled against the pillows, your arms still tight around her, legs tangled. "I know. I'm not leaving," you whispered. "I'm just… No more sex. Not right now. You…need a friend right now and…"

She hissed and sobbed, "And you're just a friend now?!"

"Well, uh…" You licked your lips and shook your head. "N-No? I don't... I don't think either of us want that. But, Jade, I can still be a friend _and_ be more, you know?" Jade frowned and nestled against the pillow. "You're a mess, Jade. And…if we're going to try for anything more than friends, it can't be with you still broken from your last relationship."

"You're not a rebound…" Jade mumbled.

You couldn't help but breathe a soft laugh. "I know. But that's what I mean… Jade, you're not in a good place right now. No more sex until you feel like yourself again."

She took a long moment to answer. When she did, Jade only nodded into the pillow. She shifted and burrowed deeper against you, and you felt how tired and worn she was. But, for the first time since that evening, you felt relief steam off of her. It was like Jade wasn't desperate to keep you by her side, anymore. Like she finally believed you were going to stay. A few minutes passed, and Jade whispered, "Can we…still kiss?"

Slowly, you mumbled, "Just…not in front of anyone else. I don't want any more attention." You paused. "But, I mean…I think we can."

"Then, can you give me one?"

"Right now?"

Jade scowled and snapped, "Vega, you just _said—_ "

"I know," you murmured patiently. You pulled her close and captured her lips, allowing them to linger. Once you broke away, you asked, "See?" Jade nodded. You rubbed her shoulder, then added, "How about we watch a movie or something? Okay?"

"What…" The gears of her thoughts were slow to move. "What about the song—?"

"They're fine. We can leave it to them for one day," you replied. "Come on. You need to rest."

Jade rested against you, and with a soft voice, she said, "O-Okay."

**. . .**

The hallway held its breath as you strode in alongside Jade the following morning, hands locked together. No more of those whispers—they were stolen away at the sight alone. As Jade rummaged through her locker, quiet with the eyes on you, your gaze swept towards the vending machine. Andre and Robbie stood, confused, with Beck silently lurking from behind. He looked defeated, you thought, and resigned. You knew you'd never be able to confirm it, but you believed right then and there that he knew what both of you got up to in her bed. After all, you completely missed the rehearsal. Maybe it was obvious just from looking, how even though kissing was the limit for now, your lips still wandered as whatever movie played in the background. And that her hands had wandered since…well, you were slow to find your discarded shirt again.

So, yeah. All of the phone calls and texts? Radio silent. He probably knew exactly what you did—the day after their final split, no less... The fact you didn't really care made the sudden wall between you and Beck all the more noticeable.

And Cat knew too, though she'd slipped to Jade's side with a perked smile. In her hands was a cupcake with bright, yellow frosting. Jade took it slowly, unsure. She scanned for anything that looked like it'd been poisoned by a kitchen floor. Though, Cat's next few words were what brought a quiet smile to Jade's face, and a careful bite into the treat—one that was shared with you:

"I threw the old one away... The frosting didn't fix the yucky stuff I found, so I baked you a new one completely."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back for a hot second. Got some juicy one-shots.
> 
> Uh…yup. :D
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> :)


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